Shades of Grey
by Lockeheart
Summary: But still, regardless of what they have done, when someone you love is in pain . . . it hurts.


Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei is not mine, it will never be mine. The characters are the sole property of Matsushita Yoko. This story and concept are the property of Lockeheart (that's me!) - So please don't steal. I have been working hard on this!

This story is loosely based on the manga and the anime, taking components from both, but not necessarily all points. Some liberalization taken by me to suit my plot. Hope I don't offend or confuse.

Original Character(s) (if any) are the property of Lockeheart.

So on with the Show!

**Shattered **

By Lockeheart

* * *

Raindrops trailed down Hisoka's face, soaking his clothing and plastering his hair against his forehead. Ten minutes . . . twenty minutes . . . Hisoka was unsure of how long he had been standing under the crying sky, but he did not care. He was exhausted, both mentally and physically, but was unwilling to submit to weakness. People viewed Hisoka to be strong . . . he NEEDED to be strong, especially now, even though he felt as if he was breaking inside. Watari had examined Hisoka and had declared him fit for service. As long as Hisoka could bury himself in his work he would be fine . . .

Hisoka pulled his hands to his chest and squeezed his eyes shut. Saagatanasu had infected Tsuzuki's soul, and had buried the violet-eyed man in a nightmarish dream, yet Hisoka had seen through the deception. Yet in the end, knowledge of that truth had done little to spare Hisoka's partner from the demon's torture.

Hisoka raised his face to let the rain wash away the memories, even if it was a useless gesture. Nothing could erase the desire Hisoka had seen within Tsuzuki's eyes, the feel of Tsuzuki's arms pressed round Hisoka's chest, or the sight of Tsuzuki's gentle face twisting into something malevolent as he slashed Hisoka's body apart. In the end Saagatanasu had been vanquished, and Hijiri had been freed of the contract, but at what cost?

The Shokan division was messed up and most of the damage had been attributed to Tsuzuki and his Shikigami. Hisoka raked his fingers through his damp hair and peered out across the street. Sweet, gentle Kazusa was dead, killed by her selfless protection of a boy she had cared for despite their short time together. The irony of the situation did not elude Hisoka; in fact it made it worse. Tsuzuki had promised to protect Hisoka, and Hijiri and Kazusa too – but neither promise had been kept.

In Tsuzuki's eyes, it was his fault, and no words would sway Tsuzuki from beating himself up. Even after a pardon from Enma Himself, Tsuzuki had shied away from all attempts of consolation from his co-workers. Hisoka had looked on as Tsuzuki smiled his empty smile and brushed off everyone's concern. Tsuzuki wished to continue as if nothing had happened; and everyone played along with Tsuzuki, because no one wanted to admit that there were wounds that could not be healed.

The division was slowly being rebuilt and soon the damage from Saagtanasu would be nothing more than a memory. Hisoka rubbed lightly at his shoulder, his skin showing no mark from the butcher knife Tsuzuki had slashed through it. The body of a Shinigami had the ability to recover from the most serious of wounds . . . but what of the mind?

Hisoka shook his head and raised his gaze to the pouring rain. Tsuzuki stillworked with Hisoka, even joked, but he refused to look Hisoka in the eyes. It was as if Tsuzuki were ashamed of past actions he had little control over. The chasm between them was wider than ever before . . . and Hisoka was unsure how to proceed. Pretending would do neither of them good, but what did you say to someone who had killed you . . . twice?

He didn't know, and that was why he stood out in the rain.

* * *

Author's Notes:

If you still haven't figured it out, this little tidbit is starting a little after the whole Devil's Trill case, but before the whole Tarot Card event.

Wow . . . I haven't really posted anything in over a year. Lots of ideas mulling around, just no time! Not sure if this is going to be the beginning of another story or just a one shot (I have ideas for both paths so). Just wanted to put this out and see what happens.

Review, comments, criticisms would be most appreciated.

Also I just have to thank Matsushita for creating such wonderful characters. Humour, darkness, romance - all the fun stuff rolled into one! Thank you!


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